Saddle Sore 1000 - October 14, 2001

I like road trips. I've always had the wanderlust and just seem happiest when I'm on the move. I got back to motorcycling last year and I've considered an Iron Butt Association ride off and on since then. I no longer race in the dirt or try to compete on flat track among friends but the thought of just tooling around the neighborhood on a motorcycle seemed lame. Bikes are meant to ride. So the endurance rider aspect of motorcycling had a strong attraction. I could be competitive at my vintage either in a rally or individual quest.  The Iron Butt Association supports both categories.

I had a notion to try rallying but I also had to determine if I really could manage over long distances.  I am as my daughter says a "Geezer" after all.   A benchmark of sorts is known as the Saddle Sore 1000.  It is a minor IBA ride - one of several the association will recognize - and achievable by most riders.  I sometimes regretted not collecting the verifying receipts during my cross-country ride in July but, on the other hand, I'd planned a relaxing jaunt with a different focus so I also don't completely mourn the lack of effort.

Since Laurie is less than thrilled about riding on my BMW R1100S I purchased a Honda Shadow Spirit on her approval - she initially thought it would be fun for her to ride upon as a passenger. Unfortunately we both grew to dislike the bike - she, because the wind blast at freeway speeds was too much resulting in "Can we just ride the back roads?" - and me because of a headshake that came on in corners while riding 2 up. Truly, the bike was a bad fit that we regretted buying and we decided to dump it.

Salvation came in the form of an "Arrest Me" red 1997 Honda ST1100 with only 2530 miles on the clock. Laurie likes the ride in back as there is no windblast at western freeway speeds, and I find it very comfortable with her back there. She may yelp in the summer because there isn't enough wind but for now she likes it.

OK so a new bike that is comfy, and a latent desire to do a long ride equals a go for it.

I planned a trip from my home in Puyallup, WA to Clinton MT having MS Streets and Trips calculate the journey at 1019 miles. I needed time to do it but have been busy since the summer and especially after September 11th when terrorists decided to take on Uncle Sam. My boss let me have the 15th of October off for some R&R so I decided to do it on the 14th, a Sunday, as the weather guy said it would be a nice day.

At 0455 I'm getting my first receipt. It is cold, rainy, and I have a little chill and I'm thinking the weather guy is a dick. To be fair everybody told me his or her version of predicted weather was for bad shit to happen - but that isn't what I recall the official forecast to be. But I have a new RoadCrafter suit and I'm thinking let's just go and see if it keeps me dry. Besides I asked myself "What would Al Carey do?".  Al is a friend at work - we both served in the Air Force together.

Easy cruise down Meridian to SR 512 and on to SR 167. Raining like mad but I'm actually getting into the ride. The fairing forces the rain over and around me for the most part and any that hits my face shield is blown downward - clear visibility - decent. And the suit is working. I'm dry and I've warmed up a tad.

I encounter the first asshole on SR 18 known as the most dangerous road in the state. It's raining, dark, and the visibility from my low beam isn't what it could be. There is construction happening to make the road a 4 lane and the road surface is crummy. I'm trying to be careful. The asshole thinks I should be going faster so I let him past when I get to a bit with a shoulder - he roars past - must have been in a hurry to give his roomy a BJ. I feel good about helping him get to that and pull back onto the road.

Finally, I get to I 90 headed east. Some of you may know that North Bend is noted for wind. Not only is it gusty today, but also it is colder than Puyallup. Gets even more so over Snoqualmie Pass. At least the rain is now down to drizzle. I continue on to Ellensburg through intermittent showers. The desire for coffee is overwhelming. The guy in the Ellensburg Texaco says he thinks it is too cold to ride a bike. I almost agree.

The rain quit and the sun is starting to come up so I blast on to Vantage. I always like the Vistas on the Columbia River and the sunrise does not disappoint. By Ritzville however I'm freezing - need more coffee - and sunglasses. The guy at the Chevron says it is too cold to ride a bike. He knows 'cause he owns a bike. I'm thinking all the real men are at war in Afghanistan or looking for Osama's friends and this is what is left behind. Its going to be a long war.

I stop for gas just into Spokane. I started the trip doing 65 on the freeway in the right lane because of the shitty conditions then wicked it up to 85 after the Columbia River. Bike registers 48 MPG. Get my receipt and blast for Montana, enjoying the sun and the ride.

To get to Montana this way one has to negotiate 4th of July pass outside Coeur D'Alene ID. I notice a temp reader on a Coeur D'Alene Bank. It's 39 Degrees. Later as I'm into the pass I see signs warning of ice in shady spots and on bridges. I ease off the burner a little - need to be careful. Ok, we get past that and past Kellogg ID then it hits me as I rise to Lookout Pass there was snow on the mountains around Kellogg, and it is raining.

I climb up Lookout Pass and observe more "look out for ice" signs, and the rain now seems to be different. Glad I have Monday off as that looks like snow. Yes it is snow, and I don't have chains. The sign says travelers have to carry chains. Wondered if the chain Nazi would interpret that to include motorcycles, then let it go. My eyes strain to examine every shady spot looking for ice. The up hill isn't too bad but the down hill side is mostly in the shade - but it is uneventful.

The signs for Missoula say it isn't far, so I press on down the other side of the pass and thankfully back into sunshine. Things are looking up. The road is dry so I engage the afterburner. ST just hangs in there - I like this bike. It hauls ass, is stable, and is fairly comfortable.

Missoula's bank sign says it is warmer - 43 degrees but the rain is back. I press on for Clinton and arrive shortly. There is a little all-purpose store in town with a Chevron pump where I get more gas, as I need the receipt. Clinton is the turn-around point. 50 mpg. The proprietor just looks at me like I'm from another planet. I thought for a moment to explain to her just where in the solar system my planet is but think differently about it. I am trying to be less of an asshole to people.

I blast back to Missoula and hit the first McDonalds's I see. Burger, fries, and big coffee. I'd like to have a dump but that isn't happening, besides I need to change into a warmer shirt and can't lose time waiting for big brown to appear.  Like they say in Hawaii: "We all jam up!".

Feeling warmer, I motor on through the mountains back to Kellogg. The snow has gone and it is dry so I make up some time. More coffee, no dump, and a call to Laurie at the McDonalds's, then press on for Washington. It is darkening as I pull into the Chevron at Ritzville. I load up with gas - 50 mpg - and head into the toilet. Not happening. Since adrenaline is often liquid brown I sincerely hope the rest of the ride is uneventful.

There is a section of the interstate that is ground down in the right lane in preparation for resurfacing and it has a 4 inch drop - no place for a bike - so I motor in the left lane - a Washington tradition. A loser behind me thinks 80 is too slow and I have a few odd thoughts about adrenaline as I approach 100 and he is still on my ass. My sphincter is about to blow when the ground-up lane ends and I pull over to let this lowlife past. I flip him off as he roars by but I don't think he can read English.

I back off from the high speed figuring I'll let the loser take the ticket. No cops that want him but there are several near Moses Lake handing out performance awards to speeders who were ahead of me. Not the justice I'd hoped for but I'll take advantage of it.

Shortly thereafter I nearly get taken out on the long hill ascending from Vantage. I pass a line of trucks and catch the flashing of headlights in my rearview from the truck behind me - I assume he's letting me know I cleared him and can pull over. I turn my right turn signal on, and I do a head-check before I move over. Glad I did as a high speed inbred passes me on the right just as I look over my shoulder. I conclude he must have been way back but coming up behind me real fast while I was passing the trucks, and going so fast I didn't know he was there until he was. I assume he decided to maintain his speed and go around on my right rather than slow down and wait for me to move over. I'm sure glad the truck driver warned me. I'd be road kill otherwise.

I stop in Ellensburg for coffee. It is cold and will get colder as I go back over Snoqualmie pass and I'm a little fatigued. I drink two cups. No dump.

The rest of the trip is uneventful with light traffic with cloud free skies. I can see the landing lights of aircraft approaching SeaTac Airport as I decend from Snoqualmie Summit and that's comforting to see. There has been virtually no air traffic since Sept 11th so maybe we are recovering a little.  It is 2240 when I stop at the Texaco to get my last receipt. My odometer says I traveled 1035 miles. The mapping software says it is 1019 miles. Not much difference.

What did I come away from this trip with? Well, an appreciation for the ST1100. It is a very good tool for distance riding. Gas mileage is 48 - 50 at speeds routinely near 75 - 80. The rain was no big deal as the RoadCrafter works superbly but the cold just kicked my ass. Very draining. I need to have my heated vest and electric handgrips rigged for this bike.

I wonder if an enema might be useful. I wonder what the Iron Butt Rally riders do? Nobody talks about this in the LDR community.

My low beams need improving. Highs are are great but low bulb needs more wattage. I must do more with the rear view mirrors to improve nighttime visibility.

Most of all I feel like I did something that is reasonably uncommon and I know I have what it takes to consider endurance events. There is satisfaction in doing a SS1K but it is like your second hit of Heroin. I'm already planning a Bun Burner, Bun Burner Gold, and a 50CC for next year.  Oh, I am an IBA member now: # 10425